(no subject)

My name is Amanda Mae.

I am in a state of transition. I desperately believe If you believe in something beautiful, then get up and be it.

And I will.

I only know that I love.

Most of my journal is friends only
and I probably won't add you unless you comment on this entry.
  • Current Music
    pretty girls make graves

notes on Elvis Costello. I can't get enough of him.

my head is spinnin' and my legs are weak
goose-step dancin', can't hear myself speak.

hope in the eyes of the ugly girls
that settle for the lies of last chancers
when slow motion drunks pick wallflower dancers.

you come here lookin' for the ride to glory
go back home with a hard luck story
i can hardly wait around 'til the weekend comes to town.

play one more for my radio sweetheart
hide your love, hide your love.
though we are so far apart,
you've got to hide your love.
'cause that's the way the whole thing started,
i wish we had never parted!

when it's late and the night gets colder
don't lay your head on any other shoulder.

some hire themselves out for a good time
but you and i, we have been sold

so i keep on sayin':

play one more for my radio sweetheart.

I slept in 4 hour incriments last night. I fell down a flight of stairs last night. My blood pressure was dangerously high last night for a rediculous amount of time. I feel like if you killed me and tried to serve me as a meal, my meat would be stringy and dry [that's how my muscles feel right now] WHY CAN'T ANYONE EVER FOLLOW MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT WHEN I'M TIRED?
  • Current Mood
    sick dead

Remember this?

A long time ago, I made a poetry community.

Now I'm changing the focus of it from straight up poetry, to any kind of artistic expression that aims at re-creating a moment or emotion that you felt was important as it was happening.

I know it sounds really vague and stupid, but join and post anyway. Post anything. Something good will come out of it, I bet.
  • Current Music
    Elvis Costello

notes from a really tired brain

If you have yellow cake batter because that's all you can find in walking distance of Oakland, and you add red/pink or blue food dye... you get orange and green cupcakes.
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And I don't care because they taste just the same, with their sprinkles and home made icing.

Sometimes I really want to think straight and articulate the thoughts behind the emotion that I have but I just can't and it drives me really fucking crazy. So much goes on in my head and at 1:00 am when I've been going and going for so many hours there just isn't anything there.


and the whole fucking issue was driven by steam!

Better cupcakes tomorrow.
  • Current Music
    Elvis Costello

notes on why I smoke at 4am

I just had the most morbid nightmare about rotting corpses and the apocolypse. People thought that the end of the world was coming and they terrified themselves into these half-living zombie creatures that just rotted. There was a family in a farm house and there were rats pouring into it and farm animals dead in the front yard. And people were trying to move to more obscure locations, preferrabley where their ancestors were from, like Russia, or sometimes an exotic paradise, like the Bahamas, but Russia was like a 3rd world country and there was nothing to eat, and the beaches were full of things like sand crabs that were attacking and killing people.

I remember asking over and over again, "Why is the world ending?" Was it some sort of relgious event? Was the sun engulfing the earth? And while I was walking through the crowded streets screaming "WHY IS THE WORLD ENDING?!" at the top of my lungs, a man stopped me and said particularly calmly, "It's just time." As though the world were just old enough and I was just unfortunate enough to experience what happens when the world reaches its senior years.
  • Current Mood
    uncomfortable uncomfortable